I am very tense from the last 2 days. I need your help pls suggest me. I am in relationship from the last 4 years. My BF’s family knew about us and they are ready to accept us but my family is little orthodox and we don’t have any history of love marriage. He is Maharashtrian and I am from UP. I live in joint family with grandma, grandpa, uncle, aunty .. so the biggest decision is taken by my dadaji. Once my mum has said that If we do not live in joint family I would happily marry you with the person you love… !! 2 days ago I just said my mum that I going to marry him. she raised an eyebrow and told to my dad that I love him. My dad said ‘Maine itna choot nhi diya hai ki apni marji se shadi kare’ He said and just walked away. He didn’t said anything more than this. I want to tell them everything but I just fear they’ll force me to leave him. I don’t want to marry anyone else.
They don’t want to do intercaste marriage because ‘rishtedar kya kahenege’. How can I convince my parents and grandparents? Please suggest me. They are searching a guy from me. I don’t want to marry someone else. We can do marriage by eloping but we both are against it and waiting my family to agree our relationship. Please help me.. Please
Hey Sheetal am facing the same situation… 🙁 It’s really very tough to convenience Fathers. My Dad and My big B (My elder Brother) both are against my decision but my mom and my younger brother doesn’t have any problem From this love marriage concept.. My dad said the same thing “Ki Relatives Kya Kahege”, I don’t know why the these so called relatives are important for These Decision.. I can suggest You One Thing which I follow.. “Stuck With You Decision,, Kabhi Na kaBhi to Manegey”.. Just Be Confident With Your Relationship and convenience Your Mom First, And tell her that you happiness Only with him.. and What’s important for her Your happiness or That so called Relatives.. Mom Ko Convenience Kar lo then this will be easy to convenience the other family members.. Best Of Luck…
Richa, Last night I cried a lot because I was just thinking why I don’t have right to find life partner? My mum is agree but she is letting down her decision because of dad’s anger. I am stick to my decision… You have only mother father to convince but I have grandparents to convince. What to do yar? why they never understood? why this silly caste system is there yar ? why?
Don’t worry baby… All will be Fine.. and convience karne me Time to lagta hai na.. so don’t worry.. and Every parents Have a soft Corner for their Children even if they are stick. Parents Mann Jaye then Grand Parents bhi mann jayege.. Give them time..
Oh honeyy *bigggggggggggggg huggggggggggggggggggggg* .. Its a tough situation 🙂 I know. If you are closer to your mom, then tell her in detail about your guy, may be you could even let him meet her. Parents will be skeptical always just because they are worried. These days it is really tough dear if it is an arranged marriage. I know that it works well for some, but if you know that nobody can love you the way your guy does, then don’t let go of him 🙂 Just be patient, try getting your parents support slowly. If your mom finds him okay slowly you can introduce him to your father. Just don’t give up 🙂
There is light at the end of the tunnel 🙂
Hi, san thanks a lot for your lovely words.. I have told to my mom about him they both know he is good guy they personally know him but the caste thing is the only matter for them… 🙁
hey sheetal , First of all See that guy truly loves .And I think he loves you truly as he had discussed abt you to his family.
Now instead of convincing your parents convince your grandparents.
Make him meet your family once ,it would be better option if you invite him to home.
Let your grands, parents speak to him.
Atlast never ever compromise with your parents to marry other guy.
share with your mother how he loves you, what he had done for you, she will discuss this with your dad.
finally, abt “log kya kahenge” I think this is major prblm with older generations but convince your family that people are not imp bcs they come only for happiness not for your sadness and you should live for yourself .Try saying abt this in. every matter.
See changes then
hi, Kp.. My grandpa is very orthodox he thinks his ‘moonch’ should always be ‘oonchi’ and He never anyone decision … He can shout for a day for one single issue.. so I can’t dare to ask him and because of him my father is also afraid for this marriage . 🙁
oh no…these parents…My brother wanted to get married to a inter caste girl and ur father just sounds like my dad-Pehle kisi ne love marriage nahi ki….log kya kahenge…mai kisi or ki caste se shadi nahi karvaunga …..My brother just told again and again…papa mai apke against nahi ja raha, aap q mere against ja rahe ho, kya aap apne arrange marriage ki guarantee lete ho….he gave tons of examples from love marriage (good ones) and bad examples from arrange marriage…. After wait of 6 years they got married this jan..Today my papa says- bhaad mai jaye caste, itni achi bahu muje mil he nahi sakti thi..So you see, stick to your decision and dont cry you arent doing anything bad…Dont plead to them, be firm…..Say papa aap ek baar us se mil lo, uski family se mil lo…trust ur daughter…..Just stick and explain to them, try you level best…kabhi kabhi na maan jaenge..
i am sure everything will get better soon.
Shweta you are right I don’t know why people give more importance to caste rather than the person… I am stick to my decision and I’ve clearly told my parents that I am not going to marry anyone else.. Hoping they will soon agree.. Thanks for your sweet gesture.. 🙂
Wow.. Exactly the issue am facing now. I gotta convince my WHOLE family for marrying my boyfriend of 4 years. The worst thing is there is noone to support me 🙁
Am still strong in my decision though. Parents and elders will talk about all the negatives of love marriage but will not listen to the advantages we tell about love marriage. I still do not understand why they are more worried about the society.
True, they are angry and frustrated that we bypassed them and took a decision when they have done everything for us.
But love happens without planning. DO not worry Sheetal, you will get good news from your parents soon. God will help
Whatever it maybe, be strong in your decision. Afterall, they are our parents.. They will understand us and accept one day. Be positive 🙂
Thank you saveetha for your wishes… I know they are worry for me …every parents want that his/her child should be happy in their marriage life… but they think loving someone is just a crime and we don’t have right of this (specially girls)….
Maybe you should try talking to your grandmother. If your grandparents agree, your father will automatically agree. Times have changed. What really matters is their child’s happiness. Few people have arranged marriages and finding a boy, particularly a suitable boy, will be difficult for them. Have you asked your bf’s parents for advise or help?
“Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly.” – Robert F. Kennedy, Cape Town (1966)
Hi, Rene my grandma is not that kind of grandma who is modern .. she still lives in the era in of 19 th century… Yes.. His family is ready to meet my family but my family at least need to agree for this …
hey sheetal i too have faced the same situation till this june. i know how it feeels exactly. stay calm and if you are 100 percntge sure abt this relationship stay strong and have patience. we were in love for the past 5 years and there has been manythings happening. and i should warn how hard it is going to be. just imagine the life ahead with your love, and stay pray god. good luck!
Thank you sanha .. recently I had talk with my mom and I told her how much I love him …. Lets see .. When they’ll be agree?
Say you’re pregnant 😀 it’s sure to work. Not only would your parents agree to the wedding, they’d be relieved once it’s over.
P.S: I’m not in favour of lying but as they say, All is fair in love and war.
P.P.S: Do this only if you’re financially independent because your parents might cut you off once a realise they were deceived.
lol…. Harley ..Thanks for your concern and advice dear … but I can’t do this… My parents will kill me … hehehehehe 😀 😀
Hahha I’ve always been bad at giving advice :/ anyway, I hope it all works out for you soon 🙂
No Harley actually your idea is really good .. 🙂 Even I’ve once think about this but soon I dropped this idea 🙂 Thanks dear 🙂
Hi Sheetal, The initial step is for you to accept and be completely dedicated to this projection. Keeping in mind the end goal to persuade your family, it is best to open a state of negotiation. Discover the individuals from your family who might be slightest impervious to your wedding out of your case, this could be your mom, your close relative or your siblings/sisters or cousins. Search for an open door and trust in them that you adore this man. Be transparent and ask for in the event that they would be interested in meeting him. Underscore that you truly like him and need to be content with him.
Do this for individuals from your family, one by one. You will pick up trust in how to consult with your family and win bolster from relatives who will meet your beau and will without a doubt like him (relatives who really adore you will wind up like your sweetheart, as they need to see you cheerful).
hello everyone…I Am a new user. But my story is same like others. I am from jaat community haryana .and my bf is low caste. but from the very beginning caste was never a matter of concern for us. when friendship changed into love don’t know.. I told to my family about our relationship. but no one is in our favour.my father does not want to marry me in any other caste than just. n my mother n sisters don’t want to got to against my father’s decision. they told me to forget that boy. but we want to marry each other with our parents blessings..feeling so low bcz I can’t share my views with any of my family members.what to do 🙁
Hie , welcome here. Don’t worry, stay firm on your decision. YOU Did not write but about you and your guy can’t suggest much. I INFORmed at my home before some months . MY GUY Informed before 2 year still his dad not agreeING. SAME CAste. So everyone I see facing same problem. Be confident stay strong. It will take time but this wait completely worth
hi sheetal , is there any update , is everything going well, beacuse i m facing same situtaion from 1.5 year but didn’t find any way.
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